Give it to me dirty or don't give it at all...

Leanne and I have been a part of a lot of brokenness over the past year. We have mourned the death of a student who was close to us and a co-worker we both admired. We have seen illness and how it impacts the physical and emotional health of a families and communities. We have seen marriages struggle and fail. We have seen the perils of addiction, the darkness of depression and the barbs of loneliness up close and in real life. It has been wonderful.

An among the tears and the questions we have seen one thing more than anything else; the face of Christ as he moves among this pain and brings healing and renewal. We have seen so much beauty come from so much pain and we are blessed because of this.

I feel like we as Christians pretend that our faith gives us some sort of protection against being a total mess. I perpetuate this belief as much as anyone else. I put on my khakis and blue-collared shirt, tuck my worn-out bible under by right arm and go to church with the pretense that I am healthier than others because I attend and they do not. It seems that Christians believe that going to church displays balance instead of going to church to find some semblance of balance in a difficult life.

Christ is seen most clearly in the ugliness and filth. Christ is seen in a marriage that is mended through prayer and determination. God is seen when believers confess their shortcomings and work to be better each day. Christ is seen in overcoming addiction. Christ is seen in fighting for those who have no ability to fight for themselves. Christ is seen in giving up a lot so someone else may have just a little. Christ is seen in where the ugly is made beautiful. Christians are followers of a man who went to the darkest places that we so willingly avoid today. Christ is only seen through Christians because we live differently and that does not mean what we listen to on the radio or what we choose to drink at dinner; it means that we are willing to go to places that nobody else wants to go and we do it with excitement and expectation.

Scripture cries out how much Christ is revealed in complete pain. The gospels are filled with stories of the broken becoming repaired and ignored finding love. The letters are filled with promises that God is most clear in trial and most profound in the filth for life yet we run from this brokenness because we do not trust that he will stick to his word. We are afraid of the filth even though it is that filth that brings us to him.

I am so fortunate to have been a part of so much pain over this past year because I have seen Christ so clearly and I hope that, as we move to Denver, Leanne and I are part of a community that uses pain to reflect his promises. I want a gospel that is dirty, anything else is far from worth it.